Once upon a time – no, this is true. Once I had a friend with a very sweet small boy, and I watched his mother bringing him up from when he was a baby.
She never, ever just said ‘no’. Everything he was to do or was not to do was carefully explained to him with the reasons. Everything had reasons. It was very tedious. But it was worse than that – this poor child was being brought up to be tyrannised by reasonableness. Somehow a great many of us have arrived at the conclusion that being reasonable is a total virtue and that everything we should do should be reasonable. […continue reading…]
The best relationship in the world has to be one where I don’t feel any need to be careful. No need to be checking before I speak, wondering what will this person think of me saying that? Will it upset them? Will they understand me? Will I sound stupid?
Even in the best relationship in the world (ahem…) this possibility of not having to think twice before opening my mouth may change from day to day. […continue reading…]
We have the bloodiest rows. Fortunately not ever actually bloody but too near for comfort.
I think he starts it; he thinks it’s me. But truly it is a mutual process, because if I am critical of Charles (in a particular – but just what? – way) he goes demented. Though it usually starts with a miserable slow burn. […continue reading…]
