The nature of the cloud interested me. It was true that the holiday cost also seemed greater than usual, so we had conversations like ‘we don’t have to eat out, we can get deli food, that’s much cheaper…’. We’d probably do that anyway, we usually do. What struck me though was how lowering that was. The idea. Go on holiday and economise.
It’s about how I feel – ‘rich’ or ‘poor’. And it’s just a state of mind, since we’re not about to go without food or get thrown out of our house. I’m not going all sweet natured here, I’m not thinking about blessing counting. I’m thinking – how do you manipulate your own frame of mind so’s you feel good?? In this case ‘rich’?
It works the same over the holiday feeling. I work at home. I can work, answering emails, taking bookings, editing thinkingardens, updating websites, from the minute I wake up to when I go to bed. That’s what having a netbook I can use in bed does.
But I have noticed that – with the right support from Charles, I can feel ‘on holiday’ at home. It takes the two of us to give up being worthy and deciding we are ‘holidaying’. It helps if the rest of the world is at it too. Charles doesn’t get Bank Holidays off often, or even weekends, but when he does those help somehow, if he can let go of his own work (he also does work at home) and play at being on holiday.
Again, it’s a frame of mind issue. So what stops me from feeling rich and holidayish all the time? Why can’t I adopt this frame of reference and make my world fantastic? It’s like a trick that I can feel almost able to reach. A trick I can pull sometimes…then I lose it. I think part of it is a fear – that if I let myself believe something like that when it isn’t true something bad will happen. Maybe I’ll become careless with money, spend it all, or not do any work at all – and then… And then???? Really???? Would I? Could I?
People have been struggling with this at least since Hamlet said, more succinctly than I have “there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so“. Someone must have got a handle on it, somewhere..