Alone – or lonely?

September 10, 2012

in Friendship, Personal


Fireplace tiles

People understand loneliness. If they know someone is alone they may respond by offering company for comfort and will almost certainly worry about them. People are not quite so clued up about those of us who suffer easily from over exposure to people.

I don’t know how people have coped in the past, when privacy was almost impossible to find. I have a need to spend a good amount of time alone and if life demands that I spend a great deal of time in company I begin to feel like a pressure cooker building up steam. This is not because I am anti social – I love company, love seeing friends and having people to stay. The absolute best times in my life are spent either with Charles or with friends. But I rapidly reach a limit, after which I need a break. Which is why Charles and I live at opposite ends of the house and rejoice in the good fortune which has made that possible. (partly from deciding not to have children)

I think it may be because I am unusually sensitive to people’s displeasure and their moods…. maybe just to their responses to the world. After a while of that I need respite, time when I am not worrying about saying and doing the right thing. And I love the peace and freedom of my own company positively.

This doesn’t mean I want to live alone. But when a friend, who lives with her daughter asked if we could defer meeting because her daughter was going to be away and she was going to treasure the long uninterrupted time alone I understood completely. And I understood her saying she wouldn’t tell many people the reason so openly, as few seem to understand that need.

Is that true?

Anne. XXXX Don’t forget to buy my book...(or else..)

Anne, scary

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